The concept of being “betrothed” in biblical times often sparks curiosity and can sometimes be misunderstood through a modern lens. It was far more than a casual engagement; it was a legally binding commitment, almost as serious as marriage itself. This distinction is crucial for understanding many biblical narratives, including the Christmas story. Let’s separate the myths from the truths surrounding what it meant to be “betrothed” in ancient Israel.
Myth 1: Betrothal was just like modern engagement.
Truth: This is a common misconception. In many modern cultures, an engagement is a promise to marry that can be broken relatively easily, often without legal repercussions beyond emotional distress. In biblical times, however, betrothal (Hebrew: erusin) was a formal, legally recognized covenant between two families. It was usually arranged by the parents and sealed with contracts and often a dowry. From the moment of betrothal, the couple was considered legally married, even though they did not yet live together or consummate the marriage. The only way to dissolve a betrothal was through a formal divorce, requiring a certificate of divorce, just as in a full marriage. Read more about marriage in ancient Israel
Myth 2: A betrothed woman who became pregnant before living with her husband was simply disgraced.
Truth: The truth is far more severe. Because a betrothed woman was legally considered married, pregnancy before the official wedding ceremony (which typically involved the husband taking the wife into his home) was tantamount to adultery. Under Mosaic Law, adultery was punishable by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). This context is vital for understanding Joseph’s dilemma when he discovered Mary, his betrothed, was pregnant before they had come together. Matthew 1:19 states, “Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” His intention to “do her quietly” highlights the legal seriousness of betrothal and the dire consequences Mary faced, even though Joseph knew of her innocence through divine revelation.
Myth 3: There was no difference between betrothal and marriage.
Truth: While legally binding, there was a distinct stage between betrothal and the full marriage. Betrothal marked the beginning of the legal union, but the physical union and cohabitation typically commenced after a period of time, often around a year. This interim period allowed the bride to prepare for her new life and for the groom to build a home. The full marriage ceremony involved the groom coming to take his bride to his home, often accompanied by a procession and feast, signifying the consummation of the union. The betrothal period emphasized the sanctity and permanence of the marital covenant even before cohabitation. It taught patience and respect for the marital bond, reinforcing that marriage was not merely a physical act but a spiritual and legal union established through covenant (Malachi 2:14).
Understanding the depth of “betrothal” in biblical culture enriches our reading of scripture, revealing the profound social and legal framework that shaped the lives and relationships of people in the ancient world.